For those about to detune.... we salute you!

Many people can play Guitar, but very few can play heavy and fast! You have to play fast to be a good Guitar player, people who disagree with this are people who can't play fast themselves! Have you ever heard someone who can really shred say that they don't like playing fast? No, because everybody knows that if you can play fast, more people are going to like you more.

Since the dawn of rock when the first ancient Persian plectrum performer plugged his kithara into the first hand carved marshall amp guitarists have craved heaviness and speed and tried everything to achieve this, patches, pumps, strange mechanical devices, spending 18 hours a day locked in a room practicing, even heading down to the crossroads to sell their soul to the devil himself.

Tantalisingly existing at the very edges of music and legality there has been the legend of Dropped-D, what the speed, skill-level, intensity and purity of formula one is to your average driver, Dropped-D is for your average guitarist.

So how can you unlock this mystery? Traditionally this art has taken years of solitary study to achieve mastery combining the physical skills of a highly trained martial artist with esoteric musical knowledge.

Trying to explain the difference between drop-D and normal guitar to a non-musician is like trying to explain to your special cousin from Norfolk why they should get the short bus home and not accept a lift home with a drunken Richard Hammond in his brightly painted, puppy filled, fun time ice-cream dragster.

First you must train your hands through hours of repetitive drilling and meditating to master "the bird", one of the most difficult techniques for any normal musician to conquer, even I lack the verbal acuity and elegance to reduce it to a simple form you borderline moronic musical mortals will understand without patronising you , it is best represented via a picture illustrating it's raw power. A power that you are unlikely to every fully comprehend.

We then must move on to the theory that underlies this dark art. A normal guitar is tuned to E, the ancient secrets of Drop D change this in subtle and mysterious ways, with years of practice this can then be combined with the"bird" to unlock EXTREME TECHNIQUE, the deeper, fuller, faster sound that all guitarist secretly crave.


So how can you a mere mortal get a glimpse of the power and the glory currently only attained by the guitar gods? Well thanks to the gaming geniuses at Cracktivision™ harnessing the bleeding edge console potency of the CantPlayStation™ even you mere mortals can now experience the ecstasy of becoming a Drop-D Hero.



With it's patent pending single button controller, a revolutionary new system to get you very real results in very little time, nothing comes close to matching the thrill of Drop-D, now even you can play along with your favourite anthems from Drop-D masters such as Nickelback, Linkin Park, Creed, Nickelback and some more Nickelback. Only power chords, one finger drop D power chords, these are the best and most difficult chords to play, now you can play them at every opportunity! Just put your fat finger across the stings and, wow, a power chord. Slide it up and down and you've got a song! Seriously, you could step on this drop D beauty and it would sound good!

Of course wherever there is beauty and truth you will find jealousy and envy, the envious who say Drop D power chords, easy song structures, no solos, it's for morons, well if you are one of those myopic melody loving fools then maybe what you are looking for is something simpler to suit your addled tastes, we suggest you try something a little easier for you to understand, maybe try putting a t-shirt on instead.